After hearing what the trainers said after the workshop.I felt that my life currently is in a huge mess.I have so many things that i don't really believe what they say.I'm different maybe.
I don't believe that all the people in the room can get seven A1 or six A1.I don't believe because i think that everyone has it's own limit.Again I maybe different in terms of thinking.You people believe what they say and say your going to work hard.Yeah,for me i think only 5% would work hard and achieve the A1,95% will not and I'm currently one of them.I want to move into the 5%,but i don't know why i have this feeling of not believing what their saying.Maybe this is because of my low self-esteem.I asked Peter after the session and he told me that my problem lies on my low self-esteem.
How to be lovable and capable?I know i don't really have people hating me(so is it counted as I'm lovable?),but i don't think I'm capable.I can't even do a simple thing right,so how am i capable of doing something that is more difficult?I want to do something that can help me to gain self-esteem.
I know you guys must be saying that i don't listen to the talk.I did listen,but only that some parts i felt really sleepy.I didn't sleep,but i just can't concentrate.
Today i was angry and sad.I was angry because of Eugene.I don't mind you guys know who i'm talking about because i don't want to be a coward anymore.I know why he didn't like me.I left you guys because i really don't know how to study with you guys.Yeah some of you are understanding.I want to be a good boy that don't cause any trouble in school anymore.I want to make my parents proud by scoring well.I have other reasons that why i left you guys.I can't say it here,but i want you to know i really enjoy the fun we have last year.I'm sorry.
The starting of Term 1 i was always alone.I scored well when i was alone and studying and what so ever,but i never have that kind of fun i have with you guys.Thanks..
I think I'm the kind of person who study individually.I gets easily distracted by the people around me.During lesson when people pass by our class,i will be very curious to see who are the people and in the end i miss out a lot of things.
Yeah.Maybe is my bad,put the blame on me.
Tomorrow i will pack my room and try to clear all the mess that is getting in my way.
I will also make a plan on what i'm going to do tomorrow.
If you read my blog,i'm sorry this is a long post and if you want to tell Eugene just tell.
I hope that people who read my blog can just keep it to yourself.
Two different people from two different world.
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